Today the Circular Narrative would like to salute those athletes who take it one step further. Those who decide that being a pro athlete is not enough and choose to enter the music industry. For whatever reason, in recent years a growing number of pro athletes are picking up a guitar, a microphone or (god forbid) both and crossing over. Though they are cropping up in all genres of music, a large number of this new breed of super-celebrities are releasing hip hop and rap albums.
Hand picked by The Circular Narrative, here (in no particular order) are the most... well, interesting projects that the world of pro sports has to offer.
Shaq - "I Know I Got Skillz"
In the past year or so Shaq has established himself as one of the more entertaining personalities in the NBA, whether he's getting in the holiday spirit or showing his refined side, the big fella has been all over the news for his hilarious stunts. His roots run deep though, as his music career started way back in 1993. "I Know I Got Skillz", the best song on his debut, is a flashback to the early days of rap music. The beat is simple and catchy and the lyrics are downright harmless.
"all you jealous punks can't stop my dunks,
they're brand new like Heavy,
built like Chevy, Impala,
but Shaq's a smooth balla,
(yeah, but what about rhymin?)
I can hold my own,
knick-knack shaq-attack, give a dog a bone"
Classic.
While Shaq may be a public entertainer, John Cena is a true renaissance man. Besides being one of the most badass wrestlers in the WWE, he is also an actor (see; The Marine) AND a rapper. You've got to respect the guy, partially because he's not afraid to defy wrestling stereotypes but also because he can beat the shit out of you with a folding chair. On "Bad, Bad Man" he comes real aggressive with it, spitting lines like:
"MC's and they beats is what I eat, 16 I'll leave you in the street
My rhymes are sicker than gangrene in both feet"
and
"We the monkeywrench, that's gonna ruin your plan
And don't fuck with John Cena - I'm a BAD, BAD MAN"
Creativity is the name of the game here as Cena evokes rare diseases, old fashioned tools and much more in making his point. As if the fact that he fights people for a living weren't enough, this song will convince anyone who was considering of wronging Cena in the least that they should probably reconsider.
Ron Artest - "Champions"
Ron Artest has had some ups and downs in his career, that's for sure. He fought a fan, admitted to drinking Hennessey at halftime, spoke out for animal spaying and neutering and pledged to donate his salary to mental health charities. Somewhere in there he found the time to rap. In the aftermath of winning the NBA finals with the Lakers he released "Champions", a classic song about being better than everybody else. While it gets the job done, one can't help but wonder why he didn't draw more on his own experiences when writing. He mentions the 12th round, the checkered flag, Michael Phelps and about a million other sports references, except he doesn't say a thing about, ya know, basketball. Oh well.
Deion Sanders - "Must Be the Money"
Back in the day they must have seen this coming. The guy was nicknamed "Prime-time" and he played not 1, but 2 professional sports. It was only a matter of time before he tried to conquer yet another field. In retrospect though, maybe he should have stuck to being an athlete. Deion's rapping/singing voice is a little bit creepy, the beat is directly lifted from "Return of the Mack" by Mark Morrison (although chronology says it's the other way around) and the lyrics make little to no sense. A good example of this is towards the end of the song when Sanders is muttering weirdly over the background singers, he says: "my library cards are gonna turn into credit cards". Now, Deion is an amazing athlete, worthy of much respect, but this line is downright ridiculous. First of all, it's not really cool to admit that you are carrying a lot of library cards. You aren't going to get any street cred by flashin' copies of Catch 22 around. Additionally, it isn't necessary to turn the library cards into credit cards, because you can just have both. They are not mutually exclusive. In fact, it can be argued that a successful person would have both. The moral of the story is that if Deion is gonna hit the big time he's going to have to come to terms with paying for his books....... and making better songs.
Tony Parker - "Top of the Game"
If the fact that Fabolous is on this track doesn't give it away, let it be known that "Top of the Game" is a jam. Granted, half the lyrics are in French so I have absolutely no idea what Tony P has to say, but a pretty good beat, Fab's smooth accompaniment and a music video featuring Tim Duncan makes "Top of the Game" seem like an apt title. The France thing does get played out a little bit, especially when Fabolous says "closest they ever came to France was French kissing", but despite that this song is legitimately enjoyable.
Though it would seem that the rap-letes are a dying breed, there is no telling what the future could hold.
Actually there is:
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